June 14, 2021
Ring-billed Gulls
Photographed in East Bay Park, Georgetown, South Carolina
While assisting my friend Dan Varland with a bird survey for Coastal Raptors along southwest Washington’s Long Beach peninsula, we happened upon a large group of gulls. I remembered there are some pretty nifty names for groups of birds. As a wee lad I would giggle upon hearing “a gaggle of geese”, delighted by this alliterative term. Years spent in Montana in close proximity to bird hunters is likely why I can throw out the phrase “a covey of quail” at cocktail parties with reasonable confidence. Yes, I’m THAT fascinating! Anyone who has ever been on speaking terms with a black-clad teenager harboring a preoccupation with all things morbid recalls hearing how wonderfully dark and cool is the designation “a murder of crows” - “what an awesome name for a band, man!”
As a first-year birder, I wanted to learn and employ all the correct lingo in order to mask my inexperience behind ten-cent words. In this spirit I asked Dan, the bird ecologist, the scientist, the Ph.d., “what is the proper term for a group of gulls?” Through that big smile that rests so comfortably on Dan’s face, he replied “a bunch of flocking birds!”
I’m fascinated by the names for various collections of birds. My favorites include a convocation of eagles, a flamboyance of flamingos, a kettle of hawks, an exaltation of larks, a parliament of owls, a bouquet of pheasants. After exhaustive research (0.08 seconds on Google,) I stumbled across my answer. A colony of gulls. Underwhelming and decidedly not PC - I much prefer Dan’s answer.
In the bird world some species tend to be solitary while others tend to run in pandemoniums (like parrots). Many birds are a bit of both, not unlike humans. Let’s examine the biker. The image of the motorcycle rider as the quiet loner with the complicated past may be firmly rooted in reality. But so too is the fact that the freedom of the road often takes a back seat to freedom of association when all these “loners” flock together for weekend rides, and gather by the tens of thousands for bike week in Myrtle Beach or Sturgis. And incidentally are drawn to incorporate under such names as “Screamin’ Eagles”, “The Death Hawks”,“Raven Lunatics”, and perhaps even “Satan’s Sparrows”. Maybe? They likely ride e-scooters.
It is not uncommon to crave both alone time, and time spent in communion with kindred spirits. I know this because it describes me to a “T” …capital “T” for “Tony”.
Ring-billed gulls display the same tendencies I do. I’ll see one off by themselves perched atop a lighting stanchion. Or one poking around the Walgreens parking lot with their head stuffed in a soon-to-be completely empty bag of Cheetos. Or on the beach just chillaxin’, standing on one leg, eyes closed, facing into the bitter headwinds, (kind of like that guy with slicked-back hair, sunglasses, scarf a-flappin’, seated in an easy chair being blown away by a stereo speaker in the famous Maxell cassette tapes ad.) Then later, seemingly refreshed, they’ll fly on over and see what’s what with the rest of their peeps. Perhaps they’ll inadvertently invade the personal space of another gull and get squawked down the beach a few more yards. It’s all just part of the day-to-day.
I don’t know where I’d be without my flock. I love time spent with the various communities to which I feel a kinship. If you’re lucky, you too, belong to more than just one. Here are some to which I have belonged at one time or another, others whom I greatly appreciate, and a few that I just don’t get.
A vintage of wine snobs.
An enterprise of Trekkies.
A belly of brewers.
A canopy of arborists.
A beanery of baristas.
A vapor of vapers.
A spandex of cyclists.
A jockstrap of athletes.
A backwash of dental hygienists.
A manpurse of hipsters.
A mope of Morrissey fans.
A lair of lawyers. Oops, that was a typo. A liar of lawyers. (It works either way.)
An unemployment line of musicians. (It takes one to know one.)
Ultimately, we’re all just a bunch of flocking people.
Solitary gull photographed on Sanibel Island, Florida
Gull trio photographed on Long Beach Peninsula, Washington